I guess after reading the title above I wanted to point out that i’m very aware that Success and Happiness means a thousand different things to thousands of different people. Personally I feel that Success and Happiness go hand in hand. For me it’s about smiling and liking the human that’s staring back at you in the mirror. It’s saying quietly to yourself “your doing just fine”. Not in an egotistical arrogant way, but more in a “you’ve got this, keep chasing and kicking dem there goals” kind of way.
There was a loooong period in my life that was made up of getting wasted every weekend, putting nothing but junk food though my body, procrastinating over tasks that needed to be done (and then only sometimes doing them), being physically active NEVER (except for punching the air at a night club or after party at a mates/strangers house), wasting productive time day after day and the list goes on.
So began the slow spiral of self destruction both mentally and physically… “oh FFS really? again? what am I doing with myself? I feel like crap, why do I constantly do this to myself?” Blah Blah Blah. Now don’t get me wrong, I still love a kick arse time and I have a saying that I live by:
“Do everything in Moderation including Moderation”
By living this way, it allows you to do the fun stuff, not get to down on yourself and still live your life with good level of balance. Let’s be honest life isn’t worth living without that odd night out, a glass of Rosé, some Lollies on those car trips or that delicious piece of Pizza! Basically, the trick to this is having the discipline to identify two things;
Knowing when you need to have your head down focused
Knowing when it’s ok to let your hair down and kick off those shoes.
So go on, head down to the local pizza place and stuff your face but make sure your still getting your fruit, veg and greens most of the time. Have a lazy Netflix and Chill weekend (*Side Note: you may, like me, find out a few weeks later your going to be a dad shortly after so tread with caution on the old “Netflix n Chill” HAHAHA) but make sure you get your 30 - 45 mins of Physical Exercise in more often then not. Write down your goals so you can physically see them. Without a goal/s and knowing exactly what you want, you’re sitting around wishing. By wishing, you set yourself up for disappointment! You see, this is not rocket science and i’m sure you’re thinking to yourself “yep pretty obvious” like I was every time I’d hear about a balanced lifestyle. In my case, even though I knew all this, I couldn’t figure out why in the world nothing was changing? This made me dislike the direction of where my life was heading even more. I had the knowledge to make it better but couldn't put it all together! WTF!?!
For those who have read a of my articles or taken a look at the website, you’ll notice that I’m very passionate about helping others with mental health problems. MANA is about building a conscious community that celebrates healthy living, mental health awareness and personal growth. It comes down to you making the non-negotiable decision with yourself that you’re going to make some “Actual, put into practice changes”.
One day, in the thick of knowing I should do better, with the mind set of “Actual Change” while walking to work, I had a thought that I would later replay over and over in my head:
“You have to get your mind right so you are able to use your time right”
This was going to be one of the key reminders to my Happiness and Success. I whole heartedly believed it and so began “The Daily Routine that helped me escape Anxiety and Depression” (see my previous article). In conjunction with tackling my anxiousness mentioned in previous article, I decided to stop the booze and crazy nights out for at least 6 months while I gave myself a fighting chance of change. “You have to get your mind right so you are able to use your time right”. Stop and have a good think of that sentence. Really break it down. Makes sense right? How can you use your time effectively if your mind isn’t it the right place? How can you hit goals, make clear plans, meet the right person, find your fitness etc if all you do is self sabotage and eat crap all week, fueling your mind and body with more rubbish? Short Answer. You Can’t. Something eventually gives way. Look I know plenty of people that are able to pull this off and hold down great jobs, however, seldom do I meet people doing this without anxiety, depression, physical health issues catching up with them or a suffering relationship.
After creating a different type of life style for myself, slowly learning good habits and actually putting them to practice, things were starting to fall into place. I was doing better in my job, I was starting to get a hold of my anxiety plus met my dream girl. I was finally taking full responsibility for where I was at, I stopped blaming and making excuse for why I wasn’t where I wanted to be and 100% owned that shit. You see there’s only so many times you can make up stories, throw in excuses and justify your poor actions of why your not happy or where you want to be until one day you say to yourself “who the hell are you kidding? stop believing your bull crap!”.
I knew that things were going well once I started working on myself but I knew there was something holding me back from really making stronger progress.
Here it is…. the 2 magic steps
The first step of fast tracking Success and Happiness, taking ownership of your situation, making the decision to change it as I’ve talked about above.
The second step. This is super important so pay attention to this one. You become who you hang out with and what you feed your mind! Cut out the crap!
Let me elaborate on the second step. If you’re looking to become successful, start hanging out and taking advice from people that are successful. If you are looking to get fit and healthy, start rubbing shoulder with people that you admire with that healthy glow with good fitness habits. If you’re sick of being a dead beat, stop listening, hanging and doing what dead beats do. It’s actually that simple. There are people you are hanging with achieving a lot more and a lot less then you right now. You’re sitting right in the middle of them. The more you decided to hang out with “go-getters” who are kicking goals, then you naturally become an average of those higher achievers!! This is exactly where you want to be. It took me a while to realise it, but I really had to have a look at the types of people I was personally hanging around and filter the material I was watching, reading and listening to. The ones that were doing me no favours. I had to cut out the “drainers” in my life that would suck energy and talk about the fact they were “gunna do this and gunna do that”. It was crucial that this process happened as I found my self saying that same crap! “Gunna Gunna Gunna” YUK!!!! Now im happy to say i’m not a “gunna” person. These days I’m more of a “No one gives a shit, just do you boo” kind of guy hahaha!!
When you start doing things at a higher level guess what types of people you start attracting to yourself? Correct, people doing things at a higher level. One of the hardest parts of this journey was believing that there was an abundance of Success and Happiness out there for me and that I deserved it.
I have to say that this is one journey worth perusing that you will not regret. Like anything though, this process takes work and disciple. I’m still only human and to this day I have my slip ups and blow outs, but I have to say the stats are mostly 80/20. That being good habits + consistency to bad habits and poor choices. It used to be the other way around for a long time. The new goal for me is 90/10! Moderation remember :)
To sum up, if you’re looking to live your best life, the trick is to start now. A decision only take a second.
Go get em!